Day 58 #600DayDiary : Back to medicine for now! #healing #choices #holiday

Short & sweet!!
After another poor night sleep, I realised I was risking not being able to go on holiday this weekend! That required action!

Much as I wanted to heal naturally, avoid any side effects & stop taking the anti-inflammatory tablets … It was becoming pretty clear that I needed to take them again.
After a call to my GP, I am back taking them!

and by the afternoon, made sure I did my full physiotherapy exercises …. I’ve been off work, at home this week on annual leave – which I know was adding to my frustration – I wanted to be out doing & enjoying my time off.
However they key thing now is to appreciate I’ve had this time off and can ensure I’m feeling good enough to board a plane Saturday 😀
I tried … it clearly was just a little too soon to go totally natural remedies for healing!
I will give it another go after my holiday though 😀

Day 57 #600DayDiary : Relaxing when you feel distinctly unrelaxed! @KublerRoss @annavitals #changecurve #exercise

How often have you known what you need & yet resisted it?
It’s incredible how quickly things can change. Today I know I require to relax, to help improve my symptoms.

I’ve had another difficult night’s sleep & am in pain again. I can feel that a relaxation & meditation would really support me and yet … I’m resisting it and telling myself I don’t feel like it / don’t feel well enough.
Quite a paradox to be aware of what I require & resist it at the same time! And I’m not proud of myself that I defaulted to a poor reaction ….

It took eating that piece of toast & jam (not usually part of my diet) for it to click that I was rushing through the Kübler Ross change curve!

Background on Elisabeth Kübler Ross’s Change Curve (originally based on stages of grief) HERE
I also acknowledged that although meditation/relaxation seemed like what I should do , I just didn’t feel in the right frame of mind to approach it.
When encountering resistance … It’s always great to ask – what else?
What were my other options of how to achieve a more relaxed physical state to help ease my discomfort?
I LOVE this infographic from Anna Vital

and although I also love this cartoon 🙂

when I allowed myself a moment I knew it was progressive relaxation – the tightening & relaxing of different muscle groups , followed by a gentle version of my physio exercises, that would best help me access a more relaxed state.
I put on one of my favourite mediations, using it more as background & lay one the floor, gradually tensing & relaxing different muscle groups, breathing in deeply & exhaling. I gradually felt like trying the gentler version of my physio and although it was no earth shattering fitness routine – the gentle movement did me the works of good. My mood improved & I felt more positive again, even if the symptoms were still there.
This was all then beautifully supported by the delicious nutritious dinner, that was lovingly prepared for me that evening.

Seabream – yum! ❤

Day 55 #600DayDiary : When a distraction can be a very positive thing. #healing #choices

Have you ever felt symptoms, not been quite sure of what was wrong & before you’re even really aware, your mind has begun to present different scenarios of what it could be?
Well before going down too far down that slippery slope, I noticed this morning that “something didn’t feel right”. For about 10 days now I’ve been getting a light tightness in my right chest, on & off. I’d had a chat with my doctor earlier this week and she’d mentioned that anytime now, I could choose to reduce the anti-inflammatory tablets I’ve been taking.
I’ve never been one to like to take tablets, so I took this new odd symptom as a good reminder and yesterday – I stopped taking the Diclofenac.
Then this morning I gently walked into town alone (about 1 mile) and part way in, I realised I didn’t feel “great” – I couldn’t clearly define what or why. Tingling, odd sensation in my foot/leg, general discomfort, rather than pain.
I realised I didn’t feel confident walking back ( up to now I have been noticing great improvements & am usually more than capable of walking that distance).
I was really unsure – were these physical symptoms I needed to heed or psychological ones because I knew I’d stopped taking the tablets for example?

I realised what I needed was a positive distraction!
my reason for walking in to town was already to meet a great friend for a coffee and once we’d caught up & spent some time together, I told her how I was feeling. I shared, more then I usually would, I told her I was worried about the walk home & was considering getting a taxi (!!!?)

Then, I took an important step for myself (excuse the pun!), I told her what help I would really appreciate. I asked her if she’d mind accompanying me on the walk home. (The opposite direction for her).

I knew, that if I had her company, I would manage the walk and wanted to prove it to myself – her company & support meant a lot and our conversation along the way, also provided a lovely distraction from my symptoms.

Day 53 #600DayDiary : #icebucketchallenge @mndassoc @RichardBranson @sirpatstew #Fudgethedog @macmillancancer

I first became aware of the #icebucketchallenge via @RichardBranson ‘s Twitter feed, where he nominated all of the teams @Virgin to follow suit.

I saw this challenge spread friends/celebrities/public figures filling social media streams with their inventive take on the challenge

Then, 3 days later I received a nomination from one of my best friends and I noticed her charity donation was for Macmillian – so I decided to look into this further.
I knew I’d seen mention of ALS being the charity the challenge wanted to raise awareness of, however other causes were being mentioned too.
I now know that ALS is the American equivalent of MND Association Motor Neurone Disease , here in the UK and then different people, when nominated were choosing which charity they wanted to donate too, hence other charities like Macmillan popping up.

If the viral campaign raises awareness of a lesser known cause ALS / MND , as well as raising funds for ALS / MND and many other charities, that can only be a good thing.
I was concerned about the water wasting aspect – so for my brother’s we got him out on the lawn to water the garden at the same time – quite a different approach to Matt Damon’s excellent video, raising awareness for his charity water.org
Although this charity viral phenomenon has been whirring around the internet for a while now, I’ve not watched many (I helped film my brother’s though 😉 )
My favourites that caught my eye have to be @SirPatStew

The epitome of sophistication with his take on the ice bucket challenge on You Tube
and …… (Hmmm, feels odd to place a legend of stage & film on a par with a dog from Scotland!, but there you go I’ve just done it 😉 )
Fudge the dog , as filmed & brilliantly edited by Jack Proctor in his excellent You Tube video
As for my #icebucketchallenge ?
Well, in work I offered – I said if they arranged an ice bucket – I’d do it before I left the office & they could film it for our team newsletter … it didn’t get it organised in time … And, although tempting, I guess it could be career limiting to have nominated the CEO & CFO 😉
Instead, I made sure I learnt more about ALS / MND & made the charity donation too 😀

Day 48 #600DayDiary : VIP & How do you balance Want vs Need?

This morning I was supposed to be up at 6am to do my physio exercises and get more of a focused routine back into my day…. However — hee hee hee, after such a fun weekend, I really wanted a lie in, so I didn’t get up til 6:45am

That choice meant, I needed to ensure I caught up & did my physio straight after work – as I am determined to complete it each day.
So…. I needed to adapt my plan 🙂

I had a productive time at work and naturally adapt my day to react & anticipate where possible – I wanted to ensure I did the same with my free time this evening.

Before a technical meeting today, one of my colleagues (who I’ve been getting to know a little better & trading physio stories with!) said to me that he’d seen a photo of me via a friend on Facebook (which threw me at first!) and then he went on to day what a lovely photo it was and how I looked like a VIP 😀

I don’t know what made him say that, however it made me smile and felt pretty nice for a Monday morning & certainly brightened up the start of our meeting 🙂
Which brings me to Want vs Need:
Life is often about balancing or choosing what we want versus what we need – my lie in versus getting up early for physio perhaps?
And in the case at work currently, some training I want to complete for my personal & professional development versus training my boss wants me to complete for technical & professional development.
He’s a great boss & I’m very grateful, especially recently – however when he gently suggested the idea I might want to self fund & do the technical training in my own time…. hmmm …. Been there, done that – to achieve a quality result from evening studies requires passion and / or motivation to study the subject in the 1st place!
And so today, I chose to spend some of my free time, to take a step back and approach the Want versus Need in my work based training from a relaxed position & see what ideas came up

After a bit of online research and phone calls with the technical training provider, I have a much better understanding and feel I am on the path to be able to propose a win/win … It will take focus & effort on my part – however… a plan is beginning to emerge 🙂 I’m going to create a proposal … to request to do both 🙂 Seems like the VIP thing to do 😉

Day 47 #600DayDiary : Catching up with friends, @FriendsComedy @ILoveMCR & my diary :)

I’ve been enjoying such a lovely relaxing weekend 😀 A gorgeous lie in this morning and then that unhealthy yet sometimes essential 😉 Sunday treat

I also made sure I was doing my physio each day (particularly important when I chose to have a cooked breakfast!) 😉
I have really enjoyed spending time back up in Manchester, with lovely friends (including my sister)

And having a fun night out on the Saturday

So, spending some time chilling out on Sunday morning was lovely. They had put the TV on and were watching Friends – at first, I didn’t want to watch the TV and then I caught myself laughing at the TV show that – 10 years ago was a good TV show – now, I realised I am in my 30’s and the jokes were all resonating slightly differently & I was enjoying it in a whole new way.

So all in all – quality time with friends 😀

Happy Sunday xx

Day 45 #600DayDiary : #HappyFriday – celebrating friends vintage wedding @vinteas @RevivalRetro

Today, was the last day of my 1st week back in the office
About 3.5hrs in, I’d suddenly do a time check – as I’ve been noticing pain & discomfort around then …. however, I am also noticing that it’s improving each day. As long as I keep doing my physio!!

So much has happened this week, as I get back up to speed with the things that have changed & the things I wish had changed – but are still the same 😉
So I loved spotting this quote today – it is so true :

More importantly – today is the wedding of my good friends. They chose to have a small afternoon ceremony & asked if I’d join them to be 1 of the witnesses.

I was honoured to be part of their day and I absolutely loved their wedding outfits. Both bride & groom looked very dapper 😀

The brides dress came from Revival Retro Boutique which
I definitely want to visit next time I’m in London!
And after a lovely ceremony we went on to Vinteas for a celebration afternoon tea & a few gifts

With plenty to go around

Their small wedding party had a lovely afternoon & I really enjoyed getting to meet the family of 2 of my good friends … We made a good effort clearing the plates too 🙂 The cream tea was especially popular.

A great Friday & a special day for a lovely couple xxx

Day 44 #600DayDiary : Shift your perspective, change your day.

Going back into the office this week, I expected it to be the physical tiredness that would be the main shock to my system

even though I’d been working from home, I guess I’d been working more on my timetable – so I found Mon – Weds pretty frustrating at how I wanted to nap the instant I got home & felt incapable of much more than preparing what I needed for the next day & then wanting to curl up and sleep!

What I wasn’t fully expecting was the wave of emotions – people sharing & physically feeling how tired many of them were. I was receiving comments about how relaxed & well I looked – and I was the one who had been in hospital & in pain … the impact of what they were saying wasn’t lost on me. The demands & expectations of our roles, our work, the deadlines, office politics – all came flooding back & well … Tuesday & Wednesday felt like the eye of the storm.

Thankfully, I had something pretty important to support me (as well as my lovely family) :
PERSPECTIVE
Keeping things in perspective, as well as reminding myself to take a moment to stop and shift. To see things from a different angle.

I suddenly realised I had been experiencing my day through ideas & emotions projected onto me by other people. Actually. My week had been pretty good. Monday night I’d gone out for a lovely catch up early dinner with friends

Tuesday I’d gone back to my bookclub and enjoyed the discussion (& been grateful for the earlier than usual finish), Wednesday I’d had a GREAT physio class & spent a lovely evening (& enjoyed another early night!) with family.
And by Thursday I was taking it more in my stride and enjoyed a fab catch up with a friend over a delicious indulgent hot chocolate, while we planned a party for later this year 😀

The 2 reminders I received today/this week so far:
1) when you are feeling more tired than usual, be more aware who you choose to spend your time with – energy boosting friends/colleagues – avoid the energy zappers until you have to/are back on full power 😀
2)

Day 43 #600DayDiary : Live Have Love

These 2 songs felt like bookends to my day today : Live Have Love

Pure Imagination

Day 36 #600DayDiary : Gratitude & perspective @shelleyamybeth

Ouch, so today was my hydro physiotherapy class and I can already feel it 😉
I am really grateful for it – exercising in the water boosts my confidence as I have a wider range of movement and enjoy being able to move more fluidly (apt word I guess!) 🙂
And after the class, I tried – for the first time in a while – to swim.
Now this may not sound like a big deal! However for me it is…. It’s been nearly a year now (on and off!) that I’ve had a go at swimming, only to find I’d kick my legs and not go anywhere. I bought a float, I’d try again … It would make me laugh at first and then … Well feel a bit disheartened (previously swimming strongly was something I realise I’d taken for granted!)
So, to swim backstroke for 4 lengths & then walk 6 more AFTER my physio class – felt excellent … And quite sore now!

This bring me back to – gratitude & perspective – they really came into my awareness today with this blog from Shelley Amy Beth

I’d heard of Shelley Amy Beth’s inspiring story when a friend shared it on Facebook back in June. I’d commented at the time (please read her blog, if you don’t know the background! Truly inspiring xx ) and unexpectedly I received a lovely reply to my comment – at a time when a reminder of keeping things in perspective & being grateful was very timely.
I have come so far 🙂 And, although I am still on a healing & re strengthening journey – it is SO much easier, faster & enjoyable when you approach it from a positive perspective – as with anything in life really!
I am grateful for so many things, including the gorgeous flowers currently in bloom in the historic pretty town I live in

and it motivated me to do another round of physio outside in the sunshine, on the grass, looking up at the blue sky, trees, lavender bush & bees 😀

So thank you again Shelley Amy Beth for inspiring me with the simple act of your gratitude & response & wishing you a positive healing journey including amazing life experiences along the way xx